Mother Love- Inside or Outside?

Mother Love

Some stories are so poignant. It makes the human experience beautiful, painful and reveals the nature of love in all its intensity, depth and beauty. This story touched me deeply.

I have been deeply touched by the work of Dr. Demartini. Here is a real life anecdote of what his work does from his book, ‘The Breakthrough Experience’. It also resonates with the work of Byron Katie. The work of these people is such an awesome way to discover..

We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are’ and indeed

‘Everything happens for us, not to us’  – Katie

So I share this from the book of Demartini mentioned above:

Conventional wisdom believes that love is only the nice, positive, and supportive side of that equation, but the synthesis of the two halves is a vastly more powerful noumenon, which I call love. This universal principle applies in the most extreme situations and circumstances, not just in minor negatives and difficulties.
I once had the opportunity to work with an intense man who, when I asked him who in his life he had the biggest emotional charge on, said, “Well, I guess that would be my mother. If she were alive, I’d put out a contract to have her killed.”
His mother had been a drug-addicted prostitute who had tried to kill him not once, but many times, and eventually committed suicide. He‘d been taken away from her while still very young, and had been placed in an orphanage, then a foster home. Later he visited his old neighborhood and checked hospital and other records. He had recalled only few of the incidents, but discovered but discovered almost unbelievable history of so called violence. He found that she had stabbed and poisoned him, and had done just about everything you could imagine to take his life, but he had survived it all.

His mother had two sides, the side that wanted him disposed of, and the side that didn’t. I set out to help him find the other side of her love, and at first he just looked at me as if I were crazy. Since I know the full quantum principle, we just kept digging. I asked him to recall where he had done exactly what he accused her of, in someone else’s perception, and he flat –out refused that he could be anything like her. With perservence, we unearthed every single thing he resented her for his in own life, though in his own expressed forms.
This man was a prosecution lawyer who’d never lost a case. He had once prosecuted his best friend who felt stabbed in the back by him, and their relationship was poisoned. Defense lawyers felt overwhelmed and smothered by his legal skills; as if they’d had the wind knocked out of them and couldn’t speak. Defendants felt exposed, naked, and vulnerable on the stand against him. The people he put away for life felt that he had stolen their lives and killed them.

We found everything his mother had done to him, in his own form. Although he would never owned it before, and had never brought those two sides together, he saw how he was just like her.

He was relatively wealthy and successful, a survivor who feared no one. He’d would already been through the worst, and his indomitable will to live literally blazed from his eyes. When he finally saw the gifts his mother had given him- his will, strength, determination, and his whole career of protecting society from aggressors- he opened his heart to his mother. It was astonishing how much love he felt for the woman who had tried to kill him so many times. He saw that it was all love – that she wasn’t going to be there , so she had perfectly prepared him to take care of himself, an extreme version of “ a Boy named Sue,” the character in the song by Shel Silverstien and Johnny Cash.
The instant this man saw the blessings that came from his extraordinary experiences, and that the benefits perfectly balanced the difficulties, his heart spontaneously opened upto his mother. His face lost ten years and seem to radiate light. The deep but the repressed love he had always had for her came flooding out. That experience changed his life. He stopped trying to seek revenge upon her by proxy, and changed his career, going into preventive law to help people before they get into to justice system and were imprisoned. He stopped judging his mother so deeply and began to release his many judgments of himself and others.

“In a dark time, the eye begins to see.”

You are a full-quantum being, but in your mind, you can be fooled and deny or disown half of yourself. When you imagine that you have more positives than negatives, you disown half of your experience, and the negativity becomes your disowned part. Ironically, whatever you disown in yourself you attract into your life in one form or the other. You marry your disowned parts, become business partners with them, and attract them as clients and friends. Whatever you don’t want to see or appreciate in yourself, you keep attracting into life until you learn to love it. You can’t escape your full quantum.
When you open your heart by acknowledging the magnificent design of the universe that you’ve been given, with no mistakes, just positive and negative homing devices to guide you, you start to be grateful. Gratitude is the key that opens the gateway of the heart and allows the unified field theory of love to fill your life. Gratitude makes you present with whatever you are doing. You are not here to run from away from sadness to happiness, because fulfillment is not possible when you deny half of your existence. Either side alone is only half-fillment. Something grand and far beyond either of those fleeting emotional states is available to you. This book is not about the myth of happiness; it’s about the truth of balanced perception that brings you back to love.

Would be interesting to hear what did this make you feel..

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sindhu
    May 30, 2010 @ 07:27:37

    I am really liking this shift in our thinking and feeling from ‘forgiveness’ to ‘gratitude’…. helps keep us more humble too…. kind of reminds me of a man, in one of the workshops..when he asked me “what is the purpose of life…why are we here?” and for a moment I was dumbfounded, filled with surprise and shock, because I was grappling to find an answer to that question myself, for years 🙂 and spontaneously, from somewhere an answer came – “unconditional love…. thats why we are here…to learn it… infact if you see, all experiences in life are to teach us that very lesson”…. he didnt look satisfied….
    but I was 🙂
    Enjoying the flow, K…..

    Reply

    • coevolvewithkiran
      May 30, 2010 @ 16:59:10

      Awesome Sindhu..
      what a revelation!

      We live so that we may learn to love
      We love so that we may learn to live’

      – Mikhail Naimy, a friend of good ole Kahlil Gibran
      in ‘The Book of Mirdad’ which Osho said is one book he wished he had written 😉

      Reply

  2. bulbul
    May 30, 2010 @ 09:50:14

    Kiran, thank you for sharing this- I think its a huge concept and i have still to fully absorb it but it rings true at some level. I am going to revisit this over time….

    Reply

  3. Neeraj
    May 30, 2010 @ 18:11:23

    A pretty interesting piece and very true. It takes time and experience to realise the duality of life and their interconnectedness. One can spend a lot of time trying to be one thing and shutting out the opposite and then find that try as you may there is no escaping it- until realisation dawns that they are part of one and the same! and by letting it be, it ceases to be an issue and in fact you are what you are because of both parts!

    Reply

  4. Shan
    Nov 14, 2011 @ 20:25:14

    Im beginning to see that Im no one to judge…and no one to forgive…but ot recieve everything that happens to me in gratitude, for it has a higher order meaning.. that which we may not know yet…but its happening, because its meant to happen….Thanks a lot Kiran.

    Reply

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